Wednesday, November 16, 2005

mmmm, lightbulbs...

Q: How many Michigan students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. And boy does that make him feel smarter than the rest of us.

Q: How many Purdue students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to smash it again when they get one look at the women.
Q: How many Michigan State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just burn a couch if the lights go out.

Q: How many Iowa students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to call the electrician, and five to paint the room pink before the electrician visits.

Q: How many Minnesota students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to call home and ask for instructions, one to change the bulb, and another to explain to your dad on the phone that Craig T. Nelson was never actually the football coach there.

Q: How many Northwestern students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb; one to write the story about it; another to figure out how the Hel* to pay off the student loans from Medill on a journalist's salary.

Q: How many Ohio State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Students too busy filling ziplock bags with urine to throw at visiting fans in the Horseshoe to ever notice that the lights went out.

Q: How many Penn State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the bulb, and three to concoct a theory that the electric company has it in for them and sends a different electric current to State College that burns bulbs out way faster than in Columbus or Ann Arbor.

Q: How many Wisconsin students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them. The administration is now making all students change light bulbs in an effort to get UW off the Party School rankings.

Q: How many Indiana students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. But no one will notice until basketball season.

Q: How many Illinois students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb; two to try to remember how long its been since Butkus played there.

Bonus Jokes

Q: How many U Chicago students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One--No one is needed to change the bulb--the market will change the lightbulb if there is sufficient demand for it. But you need one student to trumpet the 10 Economics Nobel Prizes to his friends at schools with good football teams.

Q: How many Notre Dame students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None--Notre Dame has no need of lightbulbs; Notre Dame is special.

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