Wednesday, December 14, 2005

basketball is my favorite sport

i like to watch them dribble up and down the court.

ok, it's not my favorite (that would be football), but it's still good, especially when it's UM - good...

Jeff shelman of wrote a nice Michigan article. definitely worth a read. of course, someone needs to fire the editor in charge of pictures, because i'm pretty sure this isn't daniel horton (or company):

in fact, i have no idea who that is. anyone? bueller? bueller?

and see, the bueller line is funny because i'm pretty sure nobody reads this blog. hell, i don't even read it after i've posted on it. sad, ain't it?

Thursday, December 08, 2005

remember the alamo

and never go back. ever.

so espn has their alamo bowl page up with a nice little poll. here are the current results with my biased acrid nebraska-hating comments alongside in blue, of course.

1) Which team will win the MasterCard Alamo Bowl?
Michigan - 50.4%
Nebraska - 49.6%

Is this a freaking joke? All the nebraska spankers must be voting like mad because the fact of the matter is that they are not that good, have not played good competition, and are outclassed on paper in most every meaningful statistical category by Michigan. and no, do your own research.

2) What was the most impressive showing by either team this season?
Michigan vs. Penn State, W 27-25
Nebraska at Colorado, W 30-3
Nebraska vs. Texas Tech, L 34-31
Michigan at Iowa, W 23-20
Michigan vs. Ohio St., L 25-21
Nebraska vs. Iowa St., W 27-20

Sure, the N win over a terribly over-rated colorado team that was outscored 130-22 over its last 3 games is as impressive as Michigan beating #3 and one-loss PSU. I buy that. Really. Honestly, I do. For realz, y0.

Yeah, ok, I can't convince myself that it is remotely as impressive. nice score over a crap team. whoopee.

3) What do you think Michigan's record would be in the Big 12?
3-5 or worse

The spankers who voted 5-3 are clearly nebraska losers that realize Michigan is too good to suck in the uber-sucky big 12, but don't want to face the realization that they would perform far better in conference than their beloved 4-4 huskers. by god, the toughest teams they faced are iowa state, texas tech, and oklahoma. Michigan would have been, at worst, 6-2 and possibly 8-0. 7-1 seems like good middle ground. let's go team-by-team on nebraska's schedule.

Iowa State - eh, proved to be pretty bad. call it an early season loss, given the way Michigan was playing. 0-1
Texas Tech - the Northwestern of the big 12 with less defense. we all saw what happened to NU. 1-1.
@Baylor - the Indiana of the big 12. 2-1.
@Missouri - the Purdue of the big 12. 3-1.
Oklahoma - If UM can beat Iowa and PSU, they can beat a struggling-at-the-time oklahoma. 4-1.
@Kansas - the other Purdue of the big 12. 5-1.
Kansas State - the other Indiana of the big 12. 6-1.
Colorado - the Michigan State of the big 12 (ie, by this time, they suck). 7-1.

believe it!

4) What do you think Nebraska's record would be in the Big Ten?
3-5 or worse

Umm, let's see. Nebraska went 4-4 playing a mediocre at best big 12 schedule, yet there are actually people that think they would do the same or BETTER playing Michigan's schedule? seriously? Let's go team by team:

@Wisconsin - better than any team nebraska played in the big 12. call it a loss in camp randall. 0-1.
@MSU - they were hot early and better than any team N played. 0-2.
Minnesota - better than any team, except maybe oklahoma, they played. call it a close loss. 0-3.
PSU - umm, yeah, nebraska loses BIG. 0-4.
@Iowa - again, better than any team they played. they lost at MISSOURI and KANSAS. they should lose this game. 0-5.
@Northwestern - big ten equivalent of TT, to whom they lost at home. i'd call it a loss, but give nebraska the upset win. 1-5.
Indiana - ok, even nebraska can beat indiana. 2-5.
Ohio State - stop dreaming. 2-6.

There you have it. scientific proof that nebraska would get atomic wedgied and then pantsed in the big ten. ouch.

5) Who is most likely to take over the game on offense?
Zac Taylor, QB, Nebraska
Mike Hart, RB, Michigan
Nate Swift, WR, Nebraska
Steve Breaston, WR, Michigan
Chad Henne, QB, Michigan
Cory Ross, RB, Nebraska
Jason Avant, WR, Michigan
Kevin Grady, RB, Michigan

Congratulations, Zac, you can play against utterly hapless defenses. Michigan's D is not. uh oh. Breaston, Avant, Henne, and Hart have all, on the other hand, taken over games against decent defenses. The pick has to be any one of the Michigan players over any of the nebraska "players".

6) Which team has the edge on offense?


7) Which team has the edge on defense?

Clea.... What? i don't know anything about their defenses except for their blitz happy sack numbers. I don't expect as much success against a full-strength Michigan OL, even one that is below average for us.

8) Which school has a better football tradition?

Nebraska had a better 90's, i'll admit, but overall tradition? Michigan has more national championships, conference championships, wins, better winning %, more players in the NFL, more heisman trophy winners, etc etc etc.

9) Is this game worth watching?

Nebraska doesn't suck, but they're not that great. maybe they met or exceeded expectations by going 7-4. Michigan is more talented and are disappointed at 7-4. They will be out to prove that they are better than the record indicates. Michigan will win, and win big.

Total Votes: 16,641

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

mmmm, lightbulbs...

Q: How many Michigan students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. And boy does that make him feel smarter than the rest of us.

Q: How many Purdue students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to smash it again when they get one look at the women.
Q: How many Michigan State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. They just burn a couch if the lights go out.

Q: How many Iowa students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Six. One to call the electrician, and five to paint the room pink before the electrician visits.

Q: How many Minnesota students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to call home and ask for instructions, one to change the bulb, and another to explain to your dad on the phone that Craig T. Nelson was never actually the football coach there.

Q: How many Northwestern students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb; one to write the story about it; another to figure out how the Hel* to pay off the student loans from Medill on a journalist's salary.

Q: How many Ohio State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. Students too busy filling ziplock bags with urine to throw at visiting fans in the Horseshoe to ever notice that the lights went out.

Q: How many Penn State students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Four. One to change the bulb, and three to concoct a theory that the electric company has it in for them and sends a different electric current to State College that burns bulbs out way faster than in Columbus or Ann Arbor.

Q: How many Wisconsin students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: All of them. The administration is now making all students change light bulbs in an effort to get UW off the Party School rankings.

Q: How many Indiana students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one. But no one will notice until basketball season.

Q: How many Illinois students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change the bulb; two to try to remember how long its been since Butkus played there.

Bonus Jokes

Q: How many U Chicago students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One--No one is needed to change the bulb--the market will change the lightbulb if there is sufficient demand for it. But you need one student to trumpet the 10 Economics Nobel Prizes to his friends at schools with good football teams.

Q: How many Notre Dame students does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None--Notre Dame has no need of lightbulbs; Notre Dame is special.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

it's that time again

oh, how i hate ohio state... gee michael taylor, tell us how you REALLY feel.

and we have this nugget from brian at mgoblog.

ohio state bad. Michigan good.

GO BLUE!!!!!

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

baskets and balls and things...

awesome Michigan preview by Big Ten Wonk (illinois alum like my wife, apparently, so has nothing better to do in the fall than look forward to roundball - yes i did!).

my preview would probably just consist of "Michigan's unis are cool" and "limiting turnovers is good" and "we have enough talent to win the national championship." oh sorry, that last one was courtney sims. seriously. dude. sup?

in other news, Michigan barely eked out an exhibition win over grand valley state university. lotta turnovers. just rust? let's hope so...

Thursday, October 27, 2005

i guess you can't argue with history

or can you? after these revisions are made, notre dame will certainly be the best football program LIKE OMG EVAR!!!!! notre dame will be the r0xx0rz and pwn the rest of the college football world!!1!!

"I fully intend to be the primary architect of Notre Dame history's return to prominence and relevance," Weis said. "I inherited a program that had only won 11 national championships between 1924 and 2005. I promise you that, by this time next year, the Fighting Irish will have won at least 10 more in that same time period."

Thursday, October 20, 2005

have mrsa...

saw this little tidbit on cnnsi truth & rumors, and it dawned on me... braylon edwards probably had community acquired methycillin-resistant staphylococcus aureus (CA-MRSA). nasty stuff.

Braylon Edwards said Wednesday he's in high spirits and happy to be back with his teammates and participating in practice less than two weeks after he was hospitalized with an arm infection.

so i was on my way to the market

when psu scored like 15 pts in half a second to take an 18-10 lead on Michigan. ok, maybe i was on my way BACK from the market, who knows, but the wife wanted grapes and since the game wasn't televised in atlanta... i just have this to say...


for all the analysis, highlights, and sarcasmic goodness you could ever want, check out mgoblog and iBlogforcookies (see sidebar). stay here for all the shallow analysis you could never hope to hear.

so Michigan travels to iowa city to face the annually slow starting then pace picking up hawkeyes this saturday. 2 underachievers who (hopefully for Michigan) are back on the right track. of course, things get a little dicey. Michigan is apparently due for a loss. no, really. it's true. let's go to the tale of the tape.

NIU: win
ND: loss
EMU: win
Wisconsin: loss
MSU: win
Minnesota: loss
PSU: win

notice a pattern anywhere? that's right, we can apparently only beat teams with either "state" or a direction in their names. so chalk up a loss to Iowa, a win against Northwestern (2 directions!! whoopee!!), a loss to indiana, and a win against OSU. ok, or there is the every other game thing, too, but the 2 faux theories work so well together.

in other news...

astros vs white sox. whoopeedoo (that's code for, "i don't care").

Atlanta Braves lose pitching coach leo mazzone to the yankees orioles. sup wit dat... i have no idea who will replace him, but i'm guessing someone from the farm system. aol/time/warner can't afford to pay anyone any kind of real money, you see, so the budget choice will probably be the one. i did hear someone suggest don sutton (currently in the booth for the braves radio/tv broadcasts and former pitcher) on sports radio this morning. that would be interesting, although he would be taking a big pay cut... keep your eyes and ears peeled for further developments.

parting shots:

and isn't it just so much better when the players storm the stands instead of the fans storming the field?

the rest can be found on the UM Football site

added a couple new pics from flickr. credit to tienmao and andrew morrell


and i totally stole this from mgoblog (ANDREW MORRELL PIC):

Thursday, October 06, 2005


so the Braves got their butts kicked. hudson had a real rough night and, combined with a stellar night by morgan ensberg et al, that's not good. the astros were not close to unhittable, but the Braves were less so. i was surprised at the old guys in the lineup (jordan, franco, estrada - umm, can estrada really be called old???), but someone on rude and dukes this morning mentioned the righty/lefty matchup. oh well, i'm assuming that we'll be seeing the rookie infusion tonight. heck, they bolstered the team practically all year, they deserve a shot at the postseason.

still psyched about smoltz/clemens tonight, though. if we can get 7 (or 8!!!) solid innings from smoltzie, i like our chances a lot. clemens is awesome, but he's not unhittable. the braves have some big bats and chipper and andruw looked pretty good last night.

i love Truth&Rumors at cnnsi. someone else combs the nation's papers and posts some nice tidbits for the rest of us. sometimes, you get a real gem and sometimes you get a bunch.

"In the offseason, several Penn State coaches -- including quarterbacks coach Jay Paterno and offensive coordinator Galen Hall -- traveled to Texas for an open-book lesson on the Longhorns' playbook. Penn State hoped to borrow some elements: How Texas used quarterback Vince Young, how it incorporated the spread offense. The Nittany Lions hope quarterback Michael Robinson can repeat Young's effectiveness against Ohio State.-- Pittsburgh Post-Gazette"

that's kinda sad, isn't it? some other coaches obviously have it figured out, so the PSU coaches need to go learn from them to figure out what to do with michael robinson, a FIFTH YEAR SENIOR??? he's been there how long and they still don't know what to do with him? unreal... now the question is, who do i want to see lose more, osu or psu? classic meteor game. (paul westerdawg rulez)

"Southern California quarterback Matt Leinart suggested Tuesday that Arizona State linebacker Robert James threw a cheap shot at him Saturday in the first quarter of USC's 38-28 victory. Leinart reportedly had seven stitches in his chin Tuesday for a wound presumably caused by the hit. James said the hit was just part of a defensive play.-- Arizona Republic"

oh, waaah... pretty boy...

"Florida State coach Bobby Bowden has recognized something different about this year's group of players, something he knew to be an encouraging sign. "For some reason, they're on time for meetings," he said. "For some reason, nobody's late for the bus ... which means maybe they're a little bit more attentive, a little bit more focused." Absent is a lightning rod for discord and discontent, a role that quarterback Chris Rix filled for four seasons.-- St. Petersburg Times"

oh gee, you're supposed to be at meetings and on time for the bus? who'da thunk it? saint bobby runs a real tight ship down there in tallahassee, he does...

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

where have i been?

so i haven't done much of anything lately. why, you ask? (probably not, but humor me here and let me at least pretend i have "friends" in cyberspace, or at least some people who are so geeky that they have to read anything that even hints at possibly being about Michigan football, 'k?)

we (and by "we", i mean "my wife") had a baby on Friday, September 30 at 7:01am EDT!!!!! she's super cute, way cuter than you were as a baby. seriously.

i did get to watch the UM-MSU game from the hospital, although i don't remember some of it too well, being sleep-deprived and constantly interrupted by nurses/doctors/well-wishing visitors who think nothing of the fact that i am trying to watch me some football in the midst of the joy that is fatherhood. so basically, let me just say that Michigan rules and is back and msu sucks and blows it, as usual.

minnesota? don't know. they blew it against psu, as is their annual trend as well, although i watched none of the game. i have no prediction for saturday other than that Michigan will beat minnesota (don't know by how much) and that osu will beat psu (just because). illinois will shock (is anything in that game really a shocker, or anything that anyone really cares about) indiana, because my wife went to illinois (great basis for calling games, huh?). i don't know who else is playing.

i also know the Braves are playing and will shock (yes, shock) the astros and all the pundits who say "astros in games." they're the trendy pick right now. Braves will bring them back down to earth. i was planning on going to the thursday game with my dad (clemens vs smoltz, droool), but plans change (baby and all).

so, without even further ado, the baby:

Wednesday, September 28, 2005


The Atlanta Braves have just clinched their unprecedented 14th straight division title!

Big whoop, you might say. They've only won a single world series in that span, you may point out. But what makes this one so special is the expectations at the beginning of the season, along with the season-long ups and downs.

The Braves were expected to contend, but maybe fall to the Phillies, the Pedro-led Mets, or the Dontrelle-led Fish. Once the injuries struck to Chipper Jones, Horacio Ramirez, John Thomson, Mike Hampton, Tim Hudson, and Johnny Estrada; and the Brian Jordan/Raul Mondesi experiments failed miserably, expectations, as well as the team's record, sunk. These guys were something like 7 games behind the phillies at the break (I could be off there) and utilized 17 different rookies. That's nuts, yo.

But on the backs of Smoltz and Andruw Jones, and the surprising bat of Jeff Francoeur, the Braves came back. Others stepped up along the way, including Adam LaRoche, Marcus Giles, perennial underachiever Rafael Furcal, and the rooks (Davies, Boyer, Langerhans, Betemit, Marte, McCann, et al).

Whoop it up, boys. You deserve it. Time to buy tickets to the Braves-Astros series!

Monday, September 26, 2005

who are these guys?

so my wife was telling me after the game that it looked like a bunch of scrubs dressed up in Michigan unis out there on the field. she noted that they lack confidence and generally look bored or confused out there. she said that it's "un-Michigan." and this is coming from a diehard illinois fan!

things that angered, annoyed, and generally ticked me off:

1) i keep harping on this, but how can MICHIGAN, a team known for having perennially great OL's, not punch it into the endzone on 4th and goal from the ONE YARD LINE? INCONCEIVABLE! what's even more inconceivable is the fact that this has already happened TWICE this season (also against nd).
- 1st and goal vs ND results in an INT.
- 1st and goal vs ND results in TO on downs
- 1st and goal vs ND results in 2 fumbles (1 recovered, 1 lost)
- 1st and goal vs Wisconsin results in TO on downs
- 1st and goal vs Wisconsin results in FG (to be fair to henne, manningham did drop a TD pass)
Michigan had five 1st and goal opportunities in 2 games and came away with 3 points and 4 turnovers. that's bad even for a team without high expectations. that's REALLY bad for Michigan. i've always like Michigan's and the cincy bengals' helmets. the bengals are actually decent this year, so it looks like Michigan has officially taken over the "Bungles" moniker. seriously.

2) what is up with special teams? everyone kept hyping breaston as being better than ted ginn or devin hester or whomever, but he can't do anything if he doesn't get the opportunity. the one great return he had was called back on holding, which explains a lot. every other time he tried to return a punt, the gunner was in his face a fraction of a second after the ball got there. that's just bad protection on special teams, kids.

3) and why can't any of our running backs hold onto the dang ball? hart had one fumble early and then is going on something like three hundred touches without a fumble. martin and grady already have something like 5 fumbles between them. i do like the way martin runs. he cuts a maroney-like profile, which is not at all a bad thing.

4) massaquoi, long, kolodziej, hart - get well soon! PLEASE!!!

5) the defense was pretty decent until late in the game when they got worn down. too bad we couldn't capitalize early on. the final score should have been something like 31-23. anyway, david harris looked pretty good out there, as did grant mason. lamar woodley was great, as usual. i saw a lot of gabe watson running over guys, which always makes me smile. he's no rod coleman, but he's not bad. the D will need to be jacked as possible because they have MSU in East Lansing saturday, and those guys are scoring like a billion points per game. they're looking USC good on offense right now. maybe it's time for them to lay the annual "egg" that they are known for. not likely, but i can always hope.

prognosis? the coaches aren't adequately preparing players and instilling confidence, which translates to a lot of poor plays and missed opportunities on the field. henne lost whatever confidence he had last year - don't call it braylon, because he still has jason "hands of glue" avant (although i sure wouldn't mind having braylon for the msu game). basically, this team has no "hart". haha, ok, really bad pun. but in the words of gene hackman in the replacements, this team needs "heart." big time.

edit: and here is the latest Michigan Monday from the o-zone.

edit2: funniest post yet on mgoblog...

Sunday, September 25, 2005

start me up...

leaving my xanga as my mostly personal stuff and posting all my Michigan/sports related thoughts here.
initial thought: why can't Michigan score inside the red zone? so far, they've had 1st and goal 4 times this season (3 vs ND and 1 vs Wisc) without scoring. another time against Wisc, mario manningham dropped a TD pass on 2nd and goal and they ended up walking away with a FG. unacceptable.